


for a moment

by scooter3scooter



Category: Dear Evan Hansen
Genre: Angst, Crying, More Crying, Not A Happy Ending, im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-29 15:56:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16747021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scooter3scooter/pseuds/scooter3scooter
Summary: Everything was wonderful. Until it wasn’t.





	for a moment

Everything was wonderful. Until it wasn’t.

 

Me and Connor have been dating for over three years. I thought life was perfect.

 

“Evan?” Connor called out. His voice wavered.

 

“Yeah Conn, are you okay?” I started walking towards him. All the blood  flushed out of my face the second I saw what he was holding. 

 

“What is this?” He seethed, holding up the note I swear I hid it in the box I keep my meds in. He knows not to open that box.

 

“Conn, I can-let me explain, please,” I tried.

 

“Are you cheating on me?” His voice was dangerously low, I unconsciously took a step back. 

 

“What? No, no, no, it’s not like that, let me explain!” 

 

“Oh really, then why does this note say, ‘I’m glad things worked out, sorry for the stress this caused. I’m happy your boyfriend didn’t catch us.’?! Then his number at the bottom! Explain that, Evan! After everything you go on cheat on me with another guy!” His voice grew louder until he was shouting at me. 

 

I quickly wiped at the tears starting to unstoppably leak from my eyes. “Conn I didn’t-I would never, Connor I just, I had to-”

 

“You had to!” He screamed at me, stepping towards me, only for me to step back, “You had to go and just  _ cheat  _ on me! You know the only reason we haven’t had sex yet is because  _ you  _ said you wanted to wait! You said you wanted to wait until we were married!” then his voice got lower, but no less mad, “But you know what? We’re through Evan.”

 

My eyes widened, more tears fell, “no… you don’t understand. Connor please let me explain, please. No, Connor don’t leave me!” I begged. It was when I grabbed his sleeve that he whipped back around.

 

“Why shouldn’t I leave right now? Why shouldn’t I do so much worse right now, because of  _ you _ ?”

 

“Because I didn’t cheat on you,” I cried, “I-I...it’s not like that, we just, he was helping me to...I-I don’t know if I can-”

 

Time stopped. For a moment, I saw was his hand fly towards me. For a moment, all I felt was the pain in my cheek. For a moment, all I heard was his hand hitting my face. Then time started again, too fast. All the pain, everything came out. And I let out a loud, gross, sob, cupping my hand over my cheek. I couldn’t help all the betrayal, all the hurt, all the desperation, all the vulnerability that flooded out of me in tears. For a moment his eyes softened, guilt filled him. All the anger visibly drained out of him, and all that was left was regret.

 

“Ev…” he reached forward to pull me into a hug, but I couldn’t stop my flinch away from him.

 

“We are through,” my voice broke as I stared up at him, my hand still holding my cheek. He looked like he wanted to argue, but couldn’t find the words. 

 

As he started to leave, I heard myself mumble, “I didn’t cheat on you.”

 

He didn’t turn around, but he didn’t keep walking either, “then what happened?”

 

“He was helping me buy a ring. But I saw you walking outside, you almost caught us picking out a ring. I was going to get one customized but there was a mistake and that was his note apologizing for everything and he put his number for me to call and talk through the mistake that was made. I was going to propose to you,” I ended in another sob. Then I heard him sob too.

 

“I messed everything up…” he finally turned around, tears falling from his eyes.

 

“I didn’t want you to know I was proposing,” my voice cracked on the last word. 

 

“Are we over?” He asked.  _ Are we? I had never been afraid of him before? But wasn’t that abuse? He's never even got close to hurting me before, but if he hit me once, he can do it again. I want to think, I want to so much, that he wouldn’t ever hit me again. But in health, didn’t they say something about the cycle of abuse or something? About abuse then guilt and then things are good, then they aren’t. And it just keeps cycling. _

 

_ But is this really abuse, it was only once. _

 

“Would you ever hit me again?” 

 

_ Stupid. I’m stupid, of course he’ll say no. _

 

“Never.”

 

_ But he sounds so honest… _

 

“How can I trust you again?”

 

“I don’t know…”

 

“I don’t know either…” I rubbed at my eyes. “I-I don’t know if it’s good for us to be together anymore.” I wish I didn’t have to say that.

 

“I’m sorry,” another tear leaked from his eye.

 

“Me too. I love you, Connor, but I don’t think we are healthy for each other.”

 

“I love you too, Ev,” and with that, he walked away.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m sorry folks, I really didn’t think this fic through. I love Connor and Evan, and I love them together. Sorry. Feel free to give feedback.


End file.
